Yesterday I cried a lot.

I am such an unsuccessful person at the school. I failed on everything…

We paid a lot for school and now he is frustrated too…

I don’t know what to do. I suggest to quit school , he got furious. I really do not know.. I cried and I sleep..Now I woke up I need to study.

So frustrating :/


New Year’s new sun

Welcome 2019!

Just bring me patience and dedication…

Please maintain my inner peace, my love and my life!

I am so grateful for what I have!

Thank you


Tributes to every piece of mine

Today there was a festival at the Philips De Jongh park in Eindhoven.

The theme was Happy Sunday ! And at the stage there were only Tribute groups.

Red Hot Chili Peppers

Amy Winehouse


Led Zeplin

I only listened Amy Winehouse band. The band was so successful . The vokal is dressed similar as Amy. Her voice is strong ! The songs they performed were well picked .

Amy was such a transparent song writer and performer . She was special indeed she still is..

so this tribute was everything that I am looking for this weekend.

I am having major problems with my H’s family. They do not behave equal between their sons and we feel this a lot !

Now I learned that they do not want me in their family from the beginning.

Anyway messed people, ignorant personalities … My H is the only contact with them.

So This week I was depressed and exhausted psychologically ..

This thing – flying chairs was also a great tribute to my childhood , easy days.

Nice chill out day and a really happy sunday at the end !


Hot yoga

I am voluntarily working a social gathering space for expat community in Eindhoven, Netherlands.

Now they are organizing Hot Yoga sessions for beginners . I would like to begin but I am so bad at any type of sport that requires body movement or tool. In other words each one ahahahha

I am a social butterfly. I cannot do sport.

And recently I watched the documentary “wild wild country” . Now how can I believe those things ?


Goodbye 30

I fulfilled 30 years on earth.

As a human, woman, Middle Eastern, heart broken, hardworking, standing alone for herself, frightened, misunderstood, beloved, loving creature…

I love the journey. Each year it gets harder, so the pleasure I got become more….

I did not feel the years of 20s, I lived every second of my 20s as free and full of experiences as possible .

But now moving towards 30 to 31 made me responsible and mature against others.

And when I experienced everything I want; universe and life gave me unconditional affection but not love. That was I had been looking for.

As I became mature, I became more more beautiful, confident, sexy, charming…

Goodbye 30, I had had waited for you so long, please now leave me with what you had come along with…