Jealousy Question

I am a jealous person in general. I can be jealous of a smile, a dinner date, a like on instagram .

But this jealousy is not limited with my boyfriend, husband. It could be my mom, my dad, my manager, my neighbour ?!

So sometimes I believe this is pathetic and I need a psychologic help, but sometimes I see myself as a reactionary person against unfair situations.

Let me give an example ,

My father was dropping me off to the primary school with our neighbour’s daughter my friend , lets say Jessica.

Jessica was blonde , big blue eyes ! Also she was clever , respectful. And she was one year older than me.

We were generally good friends , talkative, but not as BFF. A good road friend lets say.

One day in the morning Jessica came our house as usual and that day my father first opened her door. Not mine.

On that moment , I was 9 years old, I feel angry, sad, jealous but also broken. How come he can first open her door ?

Does he begin to love her more than me now ? Is this a sign of this limited love ? . Is she my competitor ? What makes her special ? Why now ? Why today?

These questions can be seen a lot but in thinking pace it took a mili-second

And the content of the questions .. that is the part which problematic.

Now I am jealous of my brother-in-law’s girlfriend. Because my mother-in-law only comments under her pictures, likes it. And my husband finds her beautiful.

Childish thoughts are back. But again the question Why now and that occasion ?

Is it really they are acting differently to me than usual or unfair triggers me temptation of jealosy ?

Or is it pathetic pure jealousy ?

I cannot decide…

self talks

My new blog

Because I am still unemployed, I needed something to make me feel busy and value-generated person.

I officially opened my first travel blog !


It is in Turkish BUT I put all the restaurants and cafes I like/love in the cities w their addresses!

So, for english speakers you have the best part of the blog posts !!

I also have the insta account : bence_gidilir

I will check the stats after this post

hope you all visted and enjoy 🙂


Flower issue – Short term Commitment

I am not a plant carer person. Such a long and care-oriented commitment is overwhelming for me.

Some bouquets from florists or the flowers that I can arrange a bouquet are my kind of having something green at home thing.

These are the some photos that How I display my short term commitments with plants


Utrecht day

My best friend from switzerland came to visit me.

Spontaneously we went to Utrecht. We fall in love with the city.

We had an amazingly tasty breakfast at Teds Utrecht

Definitely recommended. We ordered their brunches, a french toast w mimoza and a philly steak sandwich w bloodymary. We loved the food so much next week while we were in Amsterdam we had been in Teds Amsterdam .

Philly steak is this and Amazing !!

That week in Utrecht everyone was skating on the river !!

And the rest of the city we walked. The cathedral, streets and cozy bookstores. Till next week utrecth