Today I am calm. A perfect sun but a chill weather lick my soul. I am preparing for spring. I am fighting with my anxiety. About school, about after school about his parents and his family, about my family…. but good weather helps and my dreams help. I was going to AUS in my dream….

For him

I was lost. I lost my motivation, my aim… I was stuck the past. Today was enough. He was enough. He is still enough by the way. Why am I doing this fucking master? I was frustrated of unsuccessful attempts for assignments, homework… Lack of time management! But today I remember , I need to…


Nowadays I am so chilled so peaceful… Things are smooth. Christmas is on the corner! My boyfriend’s friends are coming for Christmas. He is bringing his girlfriend. So we will be accelerator during their serious leveling up process. So I did iron, dishes and cleaning today. But a holiday mood boosts my mood! Last week…

Black and White in a city

Today I took many black&white photographs in Eindhoven to join a photography competition. I realized even the buildings are in a modern shape and new. Black and white European city photography reminds me only war. WWII specifically. Here are the few of them.


Since last week almost every night I had nightmares. Now I am prepared for the dreams. Candles and hindi Zahra are just perfect to call good dreams.  This is the reflection of candles on the ceiling behind through the curtains. Good night

Decision point

Today I confessed my friend who is also my boss that After 3 gun I slept with one of my colleagues. He believes that I am far More good for him. .but I said that I am just an one night stand for him. He doesn’t and never wants me as a lover. I am…


Spoiler: this article contains winging,desperatism, self~destructive sentences.. Again. Me , failed. I am so tired of trying to making happy and satisfied the men whom are already in pain of being rejected by a beautiful woman who reminds me and reveals that I am ugly. I don’t know how long I have been involved this…