I am a jealous person in general. I can be jealous of a smile, a dinner date, a like on instagram .
But this jealousy is not limited with my boyfriend, husband. It could be my mom, my dad, my manager, my neighbour ?!
So sometimes I believe this is pathetic and I need a psychologic help, but sometimes I see myself as a reactionary person against unfair situations.
Let me give an example ,
My father was dropping me off to the primary school with our neighbour’s daughter my friend , lets say Jessica.
Jessica was blonde , big blue eyes ! Also she was clever , respectful. And she was one year older than me.
We were generally good friends , talkative, but not as BFF. A good road friend lets say.
One day in the morning Jessica came our house as usual and that day my father first opened her door. Not mine.
On that moment , I was 9 years old, I feel angry, sad, jealous but also broken. How come he can first open her door ?
Does he begin to love her more than me now ? Is this a sign of this limited love ? . Is she my competitor ? What makes her special ? Why now ? Why today?
These questions can be seen a lot but in thinking pace it took a mili-second
And the content of the questions .. that is the part which problematic.
Now I am jealous of my brother-in-law’s girlfriend. Because my mother-in-law only comments under her pictures, likes it. And my husband finds her beautiful.
Childish thoughts are back. But again the question Why now and that occasion ?
Is it really they are acting differently to me than usual or unfair triggers me temptation of jealosy ?
Or is it pathetic pure jealousy ?
I cannot decide…