For him

I was lost. I lost my motivation, my aim… I was stuck the past. Today was enough. He was enough. He is still enough by the way. Why am I doing this fucking master? I was frustrated of unsuccessful attempts for assignments, homework… Lack of time management! But today I remember , I need to…

Relief

Nowadays I am so chilled so peaceful… Things are smooth. Christmas is on the corner! My boyfriend’s friends are coming for Christmas. He is bringing his girlfriend. So we will be accelerator during their serious leveling up process. So I did iron, dishes and cleaning today. But a holiday mood boosts my mood! Last week…

Oisterwijk

Yesterday, while I was going to the university, I was astonished again by a Small town called Oisterwijk. I decided to go there after school ofcourse if he agrees with me and has a lust to go there. Thanks to sunshine and his boredom at work, it was so easy to convince him. The town…

Goodbye 30

I fulfilled 30 years on earth. As a human, woman, Middle Eastern, heart broken, hardworking, standing alone for herself, frightened, misunderstood, beloved, loving creature… I love the journey. Each year it gets harder, so the pleasure I got become more…. I did not feel the years of 20s, I lived every second of my 20s…

Wait to write about feelings and future

I have lost my inner-peace. Don’t ask why , I lost. This lost inner-peace leaks in each conversation with my husband. I do not like his family, I do not find him beautiful, I cannot see any chemistry between us. Even writing the sentences above took grand time for me. Because writing about my feelings,…

Jealousy Question

I am a jealous person in general. I can be jealous of a smile, a dinner date, a like on instagram . But this jealousy is not limited with my boyfriend, husband. It could be my mom, my dad, my manager, my neighbour ?! So sometimes I believe this is pathetic and I need a…

What is wrong with me

Last night I made a huge fight with my boyfriend. And we break up. I started the fight. Since I came back peaceful feelings remote in me. I demand so much from him, I start the fight. I am wrong on that way. But he also said that he does not love me anymore. What…