Tributes to every piece of mine

Today there was a festival at the Philips De Jongh park in Eindhoven.

The theme was Happy Sunday ! And at the stage there were only Tribute groups.

Red Hot Chili Peppers

Amy Winehouse


Led Zeplin

I only listened Amy Winehouse band. The band was so successful . The vokal is dressed similar as Amy. Her voice is strong ! The songs they performed were well picked .

Amy was such a transparent song writer and performer . She was special indeed she still is..

so this tribute was everything that I am looking for this weekend.

I am having major problems with my H’s family. They do not behave equal between their sons and we feel this a lot !

Now I learned that they do not want me in their family from the beginning.

Anyway messed people, ignorant personalities … My H is the only contact with them.

So This week I was depressed and exhausted psychologically ..

This thing – flying chairs was also a great tribute to my childhood , easy days.

Nice chill out day and a really happy sunday at the end !


Goodbye 30

I fulfilled 30 years on earth.

As a human, woman, Middle Eastern, heart broken, hardworking, standing alone for herself, frightened, misunderstood, beloved, loving creature…

I love the journey. Each year it gets harder, so the pleasure I got become more….

I did not feel the years of 20s, I lived every second of my 20s as free and full of experiences as possible .

But now moving towards 30 to 31 made me responsible and mature against others.

And when I experienced everything I want; universe and life gave me unconditional affection but not love. That was I had been looking for.

As I became mature, I became more more beautiful, confident, sexy, charming…

Goodbye 30, I had had waited for you so long, please now leave me with what you had come along with…


Hapinness in a box


Probably you have all understood.

This photo is the result of a combination of
1)a night that contains drinking irresponsibly, acting wildly and losing the all logic.
2) High level of anxiety due to being late.

It is the picture of happiness for me that is sold in a box for 8 lira (3 $) . Yet.

All the notions that we know as I mentioned before a post of mine depends on the time, place and whom you are with.

This result is now my happiness because
I don’t want to have a kid NOW. Timing
I don’t have a place to nourish him or her. Living with my family. PLACE.
The father of my (potential child) could have liked the idea. But he is not with me . PEOPLE.

So this is relief a pure relief.

But this result could had been a tragedy for me even if I only want to have a child. Or I had have opportunities to grow a child.
Or I had had  been with  my the one guy. Not the significant other but the complementary other.

Therefore happiness, sadness , anxiety they are all linked to relativity.
Today I am happy. So don’t search the happiness that comes only from one spring when st. Valentine’s day is coming….


Haunted feelings

Today after a busy work day. My best friend suggested to have a dinner at Ikea.
My favorite place in bursa. So everything is just same as ikea in berlin or stockholm or paris or istanbul. When I miss myhome, my life resemblance is enough to pretend As if I am free again. My food my blanket my coffee table and kannelbuller, kotbullar…

Anyway my friends at work also joined us. Company paid for our dinner (kottbullar w brocoli and coke) .

It was so funny to having chat, making jokes and lots of gossip !

Even I didnt think about looking at my phone !
Why ?
Cause he texted today ! All the meetings I thought him so much…
After we left work I realised the message, I thought it was somebody but him…

We talked little bit. Anyway.. he talked !!!
Hah what I was saying Ikeaaaa !!
W that happiness,  I shopped and bought a gingerbread house which I always wonder howto do/ eat etc…

And are u ready for the result ?
Warning It is a haunted gingerbread houseee


Christmas season passed, I thought snow should had melted ๐Ÿ™‚ and my glue ( melted sugar but I burned it accidentally ) was black..

I woke up early now. First time from happiness…
Made breakfast and some jam


Now I am drinking my filter coffee ad watching Girls.
Is it surprising that we are actually living same thing in different forms only? No it is not.
It is just a contemporary pain-killer…