simply happy

Oisterwijk

Yesterday, while I was going to the university, I was astonished again by a Small town called Oisterwijk.

I decided to go there after school ofcourse if he agrees with me and has a lust to go there.

Thanks to sunshine and his boredom at work, it was so easy to convince him.

The town was prettier and cozier than I saw while trespassing by the train.

Old but fancy people were at the restaurants drinking wine, some old ladies were driving cabrio cars.

For an hour we project our retirement plans. Coziness of this town enchanted us.

There were issues we need to discuss, but we postponed . Just talked how we feel, an openair therapy session was the thing we need.

Please visit this town if you want to calm down yourselves. But ofcourse sunshine makes it perfect.

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Tributes to every piece of mine

Today there was a festival at the Philips De Jongh park in Eindhoven.

The theme was Happy Sunday ! And at the stage there were only Tribute groups.

Red Hot Chili Peppers

Amy Winehouse

Queen

Led Zeplin

I only listened Amy Winehouse band. The band was so successful . The vokal is dressed similar as Amy. Her voice is strong ! The songs they performed were well picked .

Amy was such a transparent song writer and performer . She was special indeed she still is..

so this tribute was everything that I am looking for this weekend.

I am having major problems with my H’s family. They do not behave equal between their sons and we feel this a lot !

Now I learned that they do not want me in their family from the beginning.

Anyway messed people, ignorant personalities … My H is the only contact with them.

So This week I was depressed and exhausted psychologically ..

This thing – flying chairs was also a great tribute to my childhood , easy days.

Nice chill out day and a really happy sunday at the end !

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Hot yoga

I am voluntarily working a social gathering space for expat community in Eindhoven, Netherlands.

Now they are organizing Hot Yoga sessions for beginners . I would like to begin but I am so bad at any type of sport that requires body movement or tool. In other words each one ahahahha

I am a social butterfly. I cannot do sport.

And recently I watched the documentary “wild wild country” . Now how can I believe those things ?

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Goodbye 30

I fulfilled 30 years on earth.

As a human, woman, Middle Eastern, heart broken, hardworking, standing alone for herself, frightened, misunderstood, beloved, loving creature…

I love the journey. Each year it gets harder, so the pleasure I got become more….

I did not feel the years of 20s, I lived every second of my 20s as free and full of experiences as possible .

But now moving towards 30 to 31 made me responsible and mature against others.

And when I experienced everything I want; universe and life gave me unconditional affection but not love. That was I had been looking for.

As I became mature, I became more more beautiful, confident, sexy, charming…

Goodbye 30, I had had waited for you so long, please now leave me with what you had come along with…

self talks

Wait to write about feelings and future

I have lost my inner-peace.

Don’t ask why , I lost.

This lost inner-peace leaks in each conversation with my husband. I do not like his family, I do not find him beautiful, I cannot see any chemistry between us.

Even writing the sentences above took grand time for me.

Because writing about my feelings, future with such edgy thoughts will make them absolute.

Before I write they were assumptions.

Now they turned into confessions…

We discussed, we fought over the thoughts… he mention on divorce.

Is it real ? Yes. We barely one year married and in the first fight, he talked about divorce!

I am extremely , crystal clear about the words I said him. Because I know that they are real , they are my facts. Not any forecast or blackmail.

I am heart broken .

All the pieces of my broken heart is a big messed up puzzle